I suppose it goes without saying that Villain Awareness Month is not going to be a thing this year.
Which honestly… it’s frustrating. I’m frustrated, even with just the lack of posting the last little while. I’m the kind of person that likes to have a bunch of projects on the go and push myself to make progress and produce good things and so not making progress and producing things is very frustrating.
I feel like my life is a ridiculous balancing act that I just can’t keep up with, or a race that I’m just barely managing to win by like a fraction of a second, even though I can’t quite fathom where this sense of pressure is coming from.
I mean, all I’m really doing is working right now. I don’t have school to add things like deadlines and tests and studying to my workload. I work a steady, not-overwhelming job that gives me a very comfortable number of hours each week and doesn’t require me to do anything like studying or homework. Really, I should be quite relaxed. And yet.
The logical explanation would be that I’m just putting a lot of pressure on myself but at the same time… I’m trying very hard to relax and not push myself. I’m trying not to let myself get too worked up about not blogging or whatever, but I still feel very anxious. Which makes it hard to blog when I’m not able to just indulge in some creative, cathartic writing.
But in any case. I might put together a couple Halloween-esque posts this month, but yeah, VAM is so not happening unfortunately. I’m not even sure I’ll be attempting to do Your Story in November like I mentioned… sigh. We’ll see.
I guess first I gotta work on finding my zen. If only I knew where to start.