I doubt the title of this post is very surprising. Considering I planned to launch this project on July 11th, and it’s now September 13th, I imagine there was a lot of doubt as to whether or not this thing was really happening. Believe me, there were times when I didn’t think I was going to go through with it. I didn’t have the time or energy to do what I wanted, I was slow to advertise, I was disorganized, I wanted to give up. I nearly did. There were a couple times when I started to write out an apology post explaining why I wasn’t doing it this year.
But the same reason I wanted to give up on it was the same reason I needed it to happen.
I know I’ve griped and groaned about the factory job enough on this blog. It’s a nightmare that’s fortunately behind me now, and while I’m very very glad that it is… it doesn’t feel like it’s over. I’m back in school now, I’ve had a few classes, I’m getting into a better routine, I’m looking forward to autumn, my life is getting much better. But…
I still feel tired all the time. I still feel like I have no focus. I still struggle to keep up with daily life. I still cry a lot. I still have anxiety attacks. I still give up on myself easily. I still have days where I feel utterly hopeless.
I’m still depressed.
I still have depression.
Some of you reading this know a bit about the situation, though some of you may not. But yeah. Working at the factory wasn’t the reason I became depressed, but it was bad enough that it made my depression a thousand times worse than it should have been. Coupled with the anxiety that I’ve had for as long as I can remember… it’s been a bit of a battle over here, I’m sorry to say. Because even though I’m out of the factory, I’m not out of the depression mindset. It’s something I have to struggle with for a while longer, to truly overcome it. Hence why I’ve been an organizational disaster here on WordPress.
It’s not something I intend to talk that much about on my blog, not for a while anyways, but know that it is something I’m addressing and seeking help for. I want Valourbörn to be a bit of an escape for me, and while I think talking about my depression here will be good and useful at one point, I don’t know how useful it will be right now.
But one thing that I know is definitely useful right now is Your Story.
The very point of Your Story, especially the Trials aspect of it, is to inspire others with your stories of heroism and strength. To share your light with the world and give others a little bit of hope. To prove that trials can be overcome. Where I am now, I can see just how important hope and inspiration are. And I know I’m not the only one who needs it.
So Your Story is happening. I have a couple entries to put up hopefully this week, but I would love more. If you’re working on something already, thank you so much, keep on writing. If you’re on the fence, here’s your friendly little nudge to go for it. And if any of you would be so inclined to share the project on WordPress or Facebook or Twitter or go bug your friends to do it or just somehow spread the word, I would be enormously grateful. I haven’t advertised it the way I want to and I could use a bit of help.
I’m even thinking about extending the deadline to the end of the year. So tell your friends that I’m a pushover and they don’t need to feel pressured to get it done in the next two weeks.
That’s all for now. Consider this the official start of Your Story, complete with streamers and confetti and fanfare. I hope to hear from many of you soon.