Valourbörn’s Got Villains: Bane


*cue cheesy game show music*

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, baddies and ne’er-do-wells, to the fourth installment of VALOURBÖRN’S GOT VILLAINS!

In this round, we’re taking a look at Bane, foe of Batman!

Frightening Features:

  1. Gnarly Braces: I can tell you from personal experience that braces are horrifying. Bane’s braces in particular look especially so. Although I have to say, if my braces made me look like a cyborg like his does, it might not have been so bad. At least Bane’s headgear makes him look cool.
  2. Stylish Jacket: just imagine Bane striding down the sidewalk with this fashion statement flapping in the breeze! Heads will turn, people will stare, lips will whisper his name in awe. This baddie’s key to street cred is dressing for success.
  3. Hairless Scalp: some villains go around thinking their hair is sooooo fabulous and it makes them look soooo cool, but Bane knows better than that. His scalp is so evil and so scary, hair doesn’t even want to think of growing on it.
  4. Entourage: only very important people get entourages, and Bane is a very important person indeed. So important, in fact, that he doesn’t just get an entourage, he gets an entourage with guns. And camo. Jealous?
  5. Knee Pads: all of this adds up to creating a smashing villainous façade of evil, but what really ties it together is the knee pads. You just know you can’t defeat someone wearing knee pads.

Tragic Past:

Bane has not had a happy life. He was born in a prison, living in darkness every day, until he was beaten to a pulp for helping his friend escape. He was then left wearing those terrible braces (seriously, that’s braces on his face, I know these things) and enduring the humiliation of them. That’s enough to turn anyone to the dark side.

Evil in Action:

Now let’s take a look at some of Bane’s work in action…

Look at this hooligan, blowing things up willy-nilly. He should never be allowed near buttons. Ever.

So now, let’s hear the audience’s opinion!

 This is how voting works: you can vote as many times as you like for your favourite Bane feature. Then, on November 5th, the results of the voting will be unveiled with a super sneaky project I have planned.

ALSO! If there’s a certain villain you’d like to see featured in the upcoming presentations, tell me the name in the comments!

Happy Villain Awareness Month!



2 thoughts on “Valourbörn’s Got Villains: Bane

  1. I know the PERFECT villain. The Black Knight from Monty Python & The Quest For The Holy Grail. Good luck, he’s as daft as he is dangerous ;)

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