VAM: Valourbörn’s Got Villains

Where oh where are all the villains this fine Villain Awareness Month?

First of all: I am so so so so so sorry that I haven’t posted any much villain awareness stuff! Midterms, I tell you! Academic failure! That’s the best excuse I have so it’s the one I’m choosing to hide behind.

Second: the other day I had this pleasant surprise:

200followers200 followers! I am officially non-nominatable for the Liebster Award, which is so, so surreal. I owe you all an enormous thank you–it’s been hard for me, the past few months, to find things I wanted to post on Valourbörn, and there have admittedly been periods of inactivity. Your endless support, coupled with the (amazingly) growing followers list has been encouraging and kept me going. Seriously. I feel like I may have gotten off-track with VB, but after Halloween, I plan on getting back where I want to be. I’ll get through this blogger’s block, I swear. But really, again, THANK YOU for deeming my blog to be worthy enough for your follow, and for many of you, sticking around for so long!

Okay, so now that the heartfelt stuff is done (but thank you thank you thank you!), I must announce that there are less than 10 days left till Halloween! TEN! We’re nearing single digits! Can you believe this?!?!?! And so to make use of what little time we have left, I am going to pack this blog full of villains! Starting now, with the release of…

VALOURBÖRN’S GOT VILLAINS

*cue cheesy game show music*

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, baddies and ne’er-do-wells, to the ultimate villain celebration you’ve all been waiting for!

In this ten-day event, some of the most-demanded villains of all time will be showcased, their methods and madness critiqued and admired, their infamy examined and their sheer force of evilness unveiled for all to bask in! In just ten days, these villains will be picked apart so that you, viewers at home, will soon know how you can harness your own evil power and become the villain that this world needs!

And to kick us off, may I present the winner of last year’s Villain Showdowns: DARTH VADER!

This striking villain won fan approval last season and is back for more, so let’s take a look at what makes him so great!

Frightening Features:

  1. Faceless Mask: this concealing wardrobe choice is great for hiding your true feelings from the world. This is the best way to pull off a joke, because as far as others know, you’re completely deadpanning it. And have to deal with someone you don’t like? You can make whatever rude face you want at them and they won’t suspect a thing.
  2. Deadly Weapon: if you’re going to be striking fear into the hearts of your underlings, you’re going to need a weapon that shows you mean business. A glowing red beam of pain and death ought to do it, don’t you think?
  3. Cool Backup: as any singer would tell you, the backup dancers are important. They can’t be cooler than you, but they can’t fall flat either. Looks like Vader’s got himself some pretty wicked-looking support to help boost his rotten reputation.
  4. Superior Technology: Darth Vader’s showing off his smarts by displaying his proficiency for advanced technology directly on his chest! Who can ignore the fact that he’s probably got a button on there that could kill you with a single press?
  5. Awesome Black Cape: capes are a tradition amongst heroes and villains alike, but Vader knows that if you’re going to be a successful villain, you’ve got to have the pitch black cape. Not only does he blend into the shadows of every room, but he’s also wearing his heart on his sleeve–that is, his cape is the same colour as his heart.
  6. Sneaky Skirt: no one can deny that Darth Vader’s got style, and the style gurus will tell you that high fashion is all about the unexpected. Vader shows off his unexpected side by proudly wearing a skirt–that doesn’t look like a skirt. He gets points for his good fashion sense and for his powers of deception.

Tragic Past:

Some of the nastiest villains are born from the most heart-wrenching of back-stories, and Vader is no exception. This nefarious fiend suffered the death of the woman he loved, having his legs and an arm chopped off, and being burned alive before he became good and truly evil, and it was this suffering that made him hell-bent on revenge.

Evil in Action:

Now let’s take a look at some of Vader’s work in action…

http://www.starwars.com/embed/4e33f21c6907910ab33f6a4d

Dramatic music, heavy breathing, fit of anger, dramatic NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! at the end–very good, very good! Darth Vader certainly has a sense of melodrama that serves him well in his evil schemes.

Bonus!

It seems Darth Vader also has an infamous quote! Sound familiar?

I AM YOUR FATHER

It’s clear why Darth Vader’s a fan-favourite villain–he’s got it all! He’s got the look, the traumatic past, the meloramatic flair, and a famous line that even people who have never watched the movies can’t help but know. He is clearly a wicked soul straight through, and definitely not someone you want to mess with.

So now, let’s hear the audience’s opinion!

 This is how voting works: you can vote as many times as you like for your favourite Darth Vader feature. Then, on November 1st, the results of the voting will be unveiled with a super sneaky project I have planned.

ALSO! If there’s a certain villain you’d like to see featured in the upcoming presentations, tell me the name in the comments!

Happy Villain Awareness Month!

-Alex

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2 thoughts on “VAM: Valourbörn’s Got Villains

  1. Why is ‘Sneaky Skirt’ making me giggle so much?

    That bastard Emperor, though, lying to him about Padme like that. This surely encouraged Darth Vader’s evilness.

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