Witchcraft: Chocolate Chip Banana Bread

I baked more stuff! Yay! I wouldn’t say banana bread is a fall food, exactly, but I made it during the fall and I put cinnamon in it (cinnamon’s a fall spice, right?) so I’m going to call it a fall food and include this spell in my lovely Valourbörn spellbook.

Speaking of spellbooks, I had to look in the big black book of family magic for this one.IMG_2599

Spell Components:

You can Google a proper recipe, but these are the ingredients I used:

  • white sugar
  • ripe bananas (so basically the brown, mushy bananas no one wants to eat)
  • egg
  • vanilla extract
  • vegetable oil
  • flour
  • baking soda
  • cinnamon
  • salt
  • chocolate chips (optional)

Atmosphere:

This was another spell conducted by moonlight to improve its efficiency. However, it’s a beginner’s spell, so the atmospheric recommendations are relatively few.

  1. No familiar required. Unfortunately, my adorable cat companion wasn’t present for this spell.
  2. Not only had people in my household said the magic words, “I’m going to bed,” but they were also woken by my spellcasting. Apparently it was the sound of me smacking something… Still can’t figure out what I was smacking but apparently I was smacking it loudly.

Execution:

  • This spell is really quite easy. You literally just take all the ingredients and put them together in a bowl to beat. The hardest part ended up being the bananas. They are, of course, the most important components in this spell, and so it is vital that you don’t mess it up. Basically, don’t do what I did.
  • The spell called for “one cup of bananas”, but the bananas I was using were frozen (in order to preserve their magical power). This led to me simply eyeballing how many bananas make up one cup. I used approximately four.

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  • The problem came when it was time to beat everything, as I realized my bananas, being frozen, were hard as rocks. I then had to stab them with forks until they were in small enough pieces to actually use the beater.

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  • Then I realized partway through that I didn’t add enough flour. Instead of adding 1 1/3 cups, I just added 1/3 of a cup. I then had to add more flour to avoid creating banana soup, which is an entirely different spell. I also took a moment to give an offering to the under-the-counter gremlins.

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  • I also added the chocolate chips, because I thought that at this point, it might be safest to mask my mistakes with the delicious taste of chocolate. I eyeballed this amount as well.

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  • I then eagerly poured the spell into the pan… only to realize I’d forgotten to grease it. Oh well.

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  • I then had to wait 40 minutes. Note that at this time, it was the witching hour: midnight. I was tired and needed something to keep me awake.

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  • I had a few options. I cleaned up the kitchen, which was great fun, let me tell you. I then watched the GW2 installer slowly tick away, but that was painful. So I settled on TV. I started with an episode of Gravity Falls (my second favourite cartoon, only below Phineas and Ferb), which is a great thing to watch around Halloween. I then checked on my banana bread, as it had been 40 minutes, but it wasn’t done. So I went back and started watching Return to Halloweentown, which was lovely. And I checked my bread. Again. And again. It wasn’t done until almost 1:30. If I had cared to take a picture of my face at that precise moment, it would’ve been my “I’m about to murder you, you stupid banana bread” face.
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Exciting dishes!

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Even more exciting installation! (I had to leave it overnight, it only got to 41% by the time I was done baking.)

Yay for Gravity Falls!

And yay for skeleton cabbies!

  • But then it was finally done, so I dumped it out of the pan. And this happened. This is why you want to grease the pan.

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The reason I made this banana bread in the first place is because I was going to my barn’s horse show to help out and there was a potluck afterwards. So yes, I fed my lovely banana bread to people who are not family. I cut it into slices though so it didn’t really matter that half the crust had come off. The good news is that people said it was delicious, and when I brought some leftovers home, my family kept eating it when they walked past the container. Despite the issues, it still turned out tasty. Therefore, if you have even a lick of magical (culinary) ability, your banana bread is bound to turn out scrumptious.

Tips and Tricks:

  1. Make sure your bananas are room temperature before you use them. It makes your life easier, trust me.
  2. Also remember to grease your pan. It also makes your life easier.
  3. Perform this spell when you’re prepared to wait around for an hour and a half, just in case. You can check if the bread is done by using a fork or toothpick (if it comes out clean, it’s done). Also, I read on Google that if the middle isn’t done but the outside has a dark crust, you can lower the temperature to avoid burning the outside. I don’t know if this is true or not, but I didn’t burn my crust by doing this so I guess it isn’t a bad thing. (And yes, I Googled “why is my banana bread taking so long to bake?”. I was getting angry.)
  4. If you mess up this spell, I won’t even know what to say. After all the issues I had, I still managed to pull it off, so the spell is pretty much fool-proof.

That’s all for this spell. I would make this again in a heartbeat–it was super easy (in theory), it just took a while. Let me know if you try it out.

Happy casting :)

-Alex

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4 thoughts on “Witchcraft: Chocolate Chip Banana Bread

  1. Your recipe posts really make me laugh – they’re hilarious. The ordeals you have baking, Alex ;) At least it turned out okay, despite all!
    I make such a mess baking myself, though, mostly, it is mishap free, and Kodi eats all the bits off the floor before the gremlins get a look in. Poor gremlins. Although, I do have a tendency to have a recipe in front of me but then just completely ignore it, making it up as I go along (mainly because I don’t actually read it properly). But it still turns out all right ;)

    WHEN THE NEW KITCHEN IS DONE, I might do some baking myself.

    • Haha, thank you! I have fun ;)

      Aw Kodi! Stealing all the offerings from the gremlins, naughty naughty! :P Haha jeez, I don’t even know how you do it! I am truly helpless without a recipe, I never know what to do. My goodness, you have culinary courage I couldn’t even imagine.

      Just keep thinking of how nice it’ll be when your kitchen is done and you can have some peace and quiet! :)

      • Well, there’s still a lot of mess on the worktops… So at least the worktop gremlins get some nibbles. Haha, to be honest, I’m not sure how I don’t have more disasters. When I was growing up, I did help my mum out all the time while she baked/cooked, so maybe I just absorbed more than I thought. Haha, ‘culinary courage’. Not sure I’d call it courage! More like foolishness. But hey, isn’t there a fine line between courage and foolishness? ;)

        That eventual day of peace and quiet cannot come soon enough, Alex. But, the end is nigh, the end is in sight! Happy days.

        • Haha well there, maybe the worktop gremlins are nice and share with the ones on the floor. Yeah, culinary osmosis :P I used to love baking… maybe that’s why I haven’t ruined anything yet… Haha yes, a fine line indeed ;)

          I hope that when your peace and quiet comes, it bears the strength of a summer storm! :)

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