A lot of people need a purpose in their lives. Something to do, something to strive for, something to dream about, something to believe in. I’m no exception. What I choose to believe in is magic.
Oddly enough, I choose to believe in the magic of glow bracelets.
I can’t remember exactly how it started, but I have this vivid memory from when I was young. I was in the basement with all the lights off, holding this glow bracelet that was no longer glowing. I remember being desperate for it to keep shining, to bring back its light even though I knew that it was impossible. I sat there staring at it, trying to force myself to believe that it could start glowing again–that it had never stopped in the first place.
That time, I could’ve sworn the glow bracelet started glowing again.
But times after that… not so much. Eventually I faced the fact that I couldn’t possibly get something like a glow bracelet to start glowing again just by hoping it would. That’s not how they work. Even after knowing this, even after coming to terms with it, my child self couldn’t help but hope that every new glow bracelet I got would be the one that glowed forever.
None of them did, sadly.
I wanted so desperately to believe that my hope was some sort of magic, that I could make the bracelet light up because I believed it would, but my eyes kept seeing the bracelets’ dimness and it was a struggle to convince them that they were wrong.
And so, as often happens with the passage of time and the growing of children, I stopped trying to make the glow bracelets keep their light. I just enjoyed them for the few hours that they lasted and then accepted the fact that they would die out. I was no longer interested in believing they could glow forever.
Yet, I to this day keep one in the drawer of my bedside table.
I rarely notice the glow bracelet. I usually just breeze by it when I go in the drawer, as if it’s invisible. But for as long as I can remember, I’ve had one in there. Sometimes I’ll throw one away, but a little while later a new one takes its place. I never consciously made the decision to keep one in my drawer, so close to where I sleep and dream, but it’s a habit I can’t break.
Perhaps I’ve not stopped believing after all.
We’ve all got some sort of quest in our lives, a goal or destination we can spend our whole lives striving for, and the magic of belief is mine. As long as I’ve got a glow bracelet by my bed, as long as I remember that desperate hope that it will begin to glow again, I’ll keep trying to believe in magic. I’ll keep denying what I see, what I’ve been told is fact, and look a little deeper, embrace the impossible, follow my soul.
One day, those glow bracelets will start glowing again.
What do you strive for?
May your hope and belief cast light in any darkness and guide you through your life.