On Thursday, I hit a wall. I sat down to write and had a moment of, “Oh no–I can’t do this.”
Out of the blue, I felt as though I was incapable of producing 1667 words. I felt tired, uncreative, uninspired, and I had no will whatsoever to write. It was ridiculous, the thought that I couldn’t write 1667 words. That’s what I’d been doing every other day of the month, so why couldn’t I do it that day? Whatever the reason, it actually made me panic, and I was torn between submitting to that panic (and allowing fear to rule my writing) or buckling down to write 1667 words, no matter how long it took.
I forced myself to sit there and write, but when I reached 800 words, I just closed my laptop and went to bed. I didn’t force myself to suffer through 800 more words. I just let it go halfway and went peacefully to sleep with no guilt at all. After all, I’d already proven to myself 13 times this month that I could write 1667 words in one day. There was no need for me to prove it again on Thursday.
Besides, I caught up. Now I’m back where I’m supposed to be and I’ve been writing well ever since, with no more intrusions from troublesome walls.
I just find it amusing that I actually panicked when I thought I wouldn’t make the day’s quota. Yes, the point of tracking your wordcount and sharing it online every day is to guilt you into the commitment of writing 50 000 words, but that doesn’t mean you have to panic when you don’t have the mental capacity to maintain a perfect track record. There’s no shame in not meeting the wordcount one day, or ten days, or even any day in November. What matters is that you write at least one word of the story you need to tell. One word is better than none.
It’s a liberating feeling, knowing that.
Anyways, the story itself has been going well so far. I’m halfway through the month and I’m only writing the first scene of action today, but that’s okay. I like all of the character development I’ve been doing so far. In case you guys are curious, here’s the synopsis of what it’s about:
“Twenty years ago, the great seer Validar had a vision of an evil woman claiming an ancient crown to seize control of the world and plunge it into chaos. He foresaw the destruction and sorrow this would bring, and he foresaw that two saviours would deliver them from such a dark fate. One would be a knight, raised in strength and righteousness; the other, a forest guardian, filled with compassion and sensitivity.
That very night, a baby girl was born who did not cry. She was chosen to be the knight. A baby boy was born not long after, and then abandoned by his mother before he was an hour old. He was chosen to be the forest guardian.
They grew up knowing they were special, knowing that their fates had already been decided and that they had no choice but to live up to them. Now, the time has come for them to save the world, and they have to overcome their own wishes and sorrows if they are to succeed.
But with one side believing that the prophecy foretells the saviours’ victory, and the other believing that it promises the end of the world, Validar must decide what is the meaning of fate–and which side he’s on.”
I’m having fun playing with the themes of fate and destiny, and determining how this affects the lives of the two saviours and even their relationship with each other. Really, the whole point of me writing this novel is just to have fun. To write in a way I never would for my other novel, and to explore themes that have never been touched upon in my other pieces of writing. It’s lots of fun, yessiree :)
Whoo, another quote to keep everybody going!
“Nothing in the world is ever completely wrong. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.”
What fun things have you done lately?
May you refrain from hitting the panic button when you doubt your own abilities.